Location: Oregon, United States

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

Bad day at work

Ugh. Today was not a good day. On my way in to work I got a phone call from my boss's boss, who had come upon a costly mistake of mine. I had noticed the mistake about a month ago and have taken measures to make sure that it never happens again, but nonetheless, it was costly and I am responsible. I find I do not like making mistakes, as they make me feel stupid. Like I should have known. The truth is, maybe I should have known, but I waited too long or put it on the bottom of my to-do list, or assigned it less value than it really needed and didn't do it. So my butt is in the proverbial sling. It is not a comfortable place to be. My immediate boss was very supportive in light of the situation, and when I informed other staff members that I had learned a valuable lesson, we had a spontaneous brainstorming session so that we ensure everyone is trained properly and other measures are in place to ensure it never happens to anyone else. So, I felt supported but still nerve-wracked. Being a rather classic first-born, I want to do things well. Being this particular first-born, not only do I want to do things well, and right, and not get in trouble, I also want to be the BEST at what I do. So I hate falling short, even if there are good reasons for doing so. Or not such good reasons. Blea.

So I went through the day feeling rather ill. Then, at the end of the day, one of my clients had a serious crisis that needed to be dealt with immediately. This was sad, and frustrating and unsettling all at the same time. For now, the crisis is averted, but I know for a fact that we are only beginning our journey with this one. Sigh.

When I got home, I was feeling beat down and frankly spent. I had no extra energy to let children bend the rules or cut one another down and called them to the carpet on every infraction. William said I was crabby. When I apologized and told him I'd had a tough day at work he said, "Well, that doesn't mean you can take out on the family," which is what I tell him when he says he's had a bad day at school. Thanks for the advice, buddy. I'll work on that...


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